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Sidelong Glance
Sidelong Glance


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Like a randy nun, I lead a quiet, sequestered life of piety and perversion. Like a cantankerous hag, I scorn the bustle of society and probably eat stray children. I am devoted to Krishna because he's a bigger, naughtier fiend than myself, which commands my respect, and I strive to serve him through transcendental immorality. I spend a lot of time idly scowling and looking at the ugly trees around my home. Also, I have a face, but it's not much to look at.

KRSNA


Hare Krishna
Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna
Hare Hare
Hare Rama
Hare Rama
Rama Rama
Hare Hare




What do you mean " I am devoted to Krishna because he's a bigger, naughtier fiend than myself " and "strive to serve him through transcendental immorality " ??

Anonymous

Krishna is both the source and the recipient of all pleasure. All pleasure in the infinite, inconceivably diverse tapestry of existence, in both the material and spiritual worlds, emanates from and flows to him. But he is, as an individual, a naughty, tricksy fellow, who enjoys above all things fighting and fucking, lying and stealing, stirring up conflict and making mischief. He cares only for his own good time, and the entirety of creation and the complexity of destiny itself is designed for this purpose.

A common argument amongst those who doubt the existence of God is that if he exists he must be like a horrible child who builds castles in the sand only to laughingly demolish them, a cruel monster of a boy who waits patiently by the ant hill with his magnifying glass to fry the insects one by one. My belief is that this is not untrue, and that the universes are his castles, and we are the ants. Krishna takes equal delight in our suffering as he does in our more obvious pleasures, and the countless sensations in between. However, it is also my belief that we too enjoy these things, albeit with a limited consciousness, and it is by this limited consciousness that we are able to enjoy them in fullness. The worst tragedies that can befall a person, the most horrific atrocities which can be committed, the most pain experienced or afflicted, violence, terror, war, strife, suffering of every shape and size, suffering which can break a person, this is in truth absolute pleasure to the soul.The soul is Krishna, and Krishna is pure pleasure, and we are expansions of this pleasure, expansions of this ultimate consciousness experiencing every manner of pleasure in every form imaginable (and quite a few unimaginable), from the highest opulence to the most degraded hell.

This is where transcendental immorality fits in. The soul serves Krishna, which in other words one might say, the souls serves itself. I believe in both the unbreakable shackles of fate as well as boundless free will, in that Krishna determines every turn that time has in store and controls our every move in it, and yet because it is Krishna who resides within us, we are living emanations of free will itself. The soul knows neither right nor wrong, good nor bad in their literal sense: these are playthings, toys in the playroom. Morals and laws, society and order, are costumes and rules and toys for the elaborate children’s game of dress-up and make-pretend we all play with one another in this arena of existence. Some play the game very well and assume their roles with a passion, but some may have a sly, knowing wink at all this silliness, though they continue to play all the same. I can rest assured that whatever I do, say, think, feel, or participate in is exactly what I ought to be doing, and exactly what I want to be doing, even if illusory material evidence suggests otherwise. Within me is that wicked boy who steals butter, who steals girls’ clothing, who steals wives from their husbands, who steals lives from demons, who steals hearts and twists fate round his plump, spoilt little finger. And so I am beyond rules even as I follow them; I am above the law even as I obey it, or break it, or am punished by it; I can do no wrong even if I have pangs of conscience fitting to my current role; I have no limits, even if my soul chooses to act within the parameters of a select few. The same applies to every single living entity in my vicinity and out of my scope. What games we shall play!!




The Vaisnava path is the path of saints, lovers, criminals, and heretics – Krsna embraces all equally. The greatest devotees of Krsna include the most terrible demons, such as Vritra, Ravana, Bali Maharaj, and Mayasura. Durga and Kali are His handmaidens, and the harlot Fortune herself is His beloved mistress. Taking Lord Krsna as our spiritual master and beloved, we follow His supreme example above all others. Krsna defies all cultural norms, all taboos – He kills as He wishes, He enjoys sex as He wishes, He plays and sports as He wishes – and He teaches us, His friends and disciple to do the same. Through His incredible mercy, the most terrible sins and taboos become transformed into acts of pious devotion. 

To make progress, one does not need to fast or pray or observe vigils or even perform deity worship at temple. One needs to love Krsna madly, passionately, and to enjoy this world as part of His pastimes. Everything we do creates karma – unless we do it for Krsna, in which case there is no karma, there is only devotion. There is liberation. So if we eat meat, it is bad karma — but if we offer it to Krsna, instead it is devotion. If we kill a person then it is bad karma — but if we kill an enemy of Krsna, instead it is devotion. If we have sex with some attractive person, it is promiscuous — but if we have sex with an attractive person for Krsna, instead it is devotion. If we sacrifice an animal, maybe it is criminal — but if we sacrifice an animal (with Vedic mantras) for Krsna, it is devotion.

Sri Sankarsana Das







121 O heart, please worship the splendour that bears the name Radha, a splendour that with its crown fills the circle of the directions with rays of light, a splendour that shines with the glory of jewels in many tinkling bracelets, armlets, and necklaces, a splendour that wears a tinkling belt on its hips, and sweetly tinkling anklets on its beautiful lotus feet.
 
122 May Lord Krsna’s first beloved, who is the crown jewel of beautiful girls, whose bodily hairs stand upright because of Her intense love for Lord Krsna, who is splendid like kunkuma, who trembles in passionate amorous pastimes, who smiles gently, and who stays in a palace in a mandara-tree forest, protect me.
 
123 O queen whose lotus feet are worshipped by the girls of Vraja, O queen whose festival of love is inconceivable to the great saints, O queen who is the abode of fathomless nectar, please give to me the sweet glory of service to your lotus feet.
 
124 O Radha, when will I see You as, the playful moon of Your face humbly bowed, and Your veil and curling locks of hair a little lifted by Your graceful fingers, with a great splendour of sidelong glances from frightened eyes You suddenly see Your lover?
 
125 May Sri Radha, a single ray of light from the blissful nectar moon of whose face makes the full moon of this world seem very insignificant, whose red lips are an ocean of nectar sweetness, who passionately loves Krsna, and who is His very life, be pleased with us.

121 O heart, please worship the splendour that bears the name Radha, a splendour that with its crown fills the circle of the directions with rays of light, a splendour that shines with the glory of jewels in many tinkling bracelets, armlets, and necklaces, a splendour that wears a tinkling belt on its hips, and sweetly tinkling anklets on its beautiful lotus feet.

 

122 May Lord Krsna’s first beloved, who is the crown jewel of beautiful girls, whose bodily hairs stand upright because of Her intense love for Lord Krsna, who is splendid like kunkuma, who trembles in passionate amorous pastimes, who smiles gently, and who stays in a palace in a mandara-tree forest, protect me.

 

123 O queen whose lotus feet are worshipped by the girls of Vraja, O queen whose festival of love is inconceivable to the great saints, O queen who is the abode of fathomless nectar, please give to me the sweet glory of service to your lotus feet.

 

124 O Radha, when will I see You as, the playful moon of Your face humbly bowed, and Your veil and curling locks of hair a little lifted by Your graceful fingers, with a great splendour of sidelong glances from frightened eyes You suddenly see Your lover?

 

125 May Sri Radha, a single ray of light from the blissful nectar moon of whose face makes the full moon of this world seem very insignificant, whose red lips are an ocean of nectar sweetness, who passionately loves Krsna, and who is His very life, be pleased with us.




"This is the madness of the prem bhakti marg—the path of romance and worship she calls devious (nyaro). A wild path, a pathless path to a place no map can show you. Not a path to salvation, it seems the farther you travel it, the more hopeless your station, the more pointed the anguish, the deeper the desolation." - Andrew Schelling, Mirabai’s Prem Bhakti Marg
from Vaisnavi: Women and the Worship of Krishna




When a person becomes attracted by Kṛṣṇa and is in full Kṛṣṇa consciousness, he does not care for any worldly duties, even though very urgent. Kṛṣṇa consciousness is so powerful that it gives everyone relief from all material activities. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has written a very nice verse wherein one gopī advises another, “My dear friend, if you desire to enjoy the company of material society, friendship and love, then please do not go to see that smiling boy Govinda who is standing on the bank of the Yamunā and playing His flute, His lips brightened by the beams of the full moonlight.” Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī indirectly instructs that one who has been captivated by the beautiful smiling face of Kṛṣṇa has lost all attraction for material enjoyments. This is the test of advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness: a person advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness must lose interest in material activities and personal sense gratification.
- KB 29: The Rāsa Dance: Introduction

When a person becomes attracted by Kṛṣṇa and is in full Kṛṣṇa consciousness, he does not care for any worldly duties, even though very urgent. Kṛṣṇa consciousness is so powerful that it gives everyone relief from all material activities. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has written a very nice verse wherein one gopī advises another, “My dear friend, if you desire to enjoy the company of material society, friendship and love, then please do not go to see that smiling boy Govinda who is standing on the bank of the Yamunā and playing His flute, His lips brightened by the beams of the full moonlight.” Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī indirectly instructs that one who has been captivated by the beautiful smiling face of Kṛṣṇa has lost all attraction for material enjoyments. This is the test of advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness: a person advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness must lose interest in material activities and personal sense gratification.

KB 29: The Rāsa Dance: Introduction




116 If I can attain confidential service to King Vrsabhanu’s daughter, whose form is filled with the nectar of pure love, then how important are pious deeds to me? How important are the demigods? How important is Brahma? How important is Siva? How important is the struggle to meet the dear devotees of Lord Krsna?
 
117 O Radha, O goddess with a splendid moon face, doe eyes, beautiful nose, red lips, graceful smile, vine arms, graceful conchshell neck, regal-mountain breasts, slender waist, broad hips, banana-tree thighs, lotus feet, and moon toenails, when will I be able to worship You?
 
118 When, seeing my sincere and unwavering devotion to Sri Radha’s lotus feet, a devotion filled with boundless love greater than the love He feels for His own devotees, will charming Krsna embrace me, take the betel nuts from His mouth and place them in my mouth, and place His own forest garland upon me?
 
119 When will Sri Radha, whose beauty is supremely wonderful, whose expert skill in amorous pastimes is very wonderful, whose splendid glory is very wonderful, whose playful movements are wonderful, whose sidelong glances are the greatest wonder of wonders, whose smile is wonderful and whose form is wonderful, give me the opportunity to engage in Her wonderfully sweet service?
 
120 O Sri Radha, I meditate on Your beautiful face with its graceful restless knitted eyebrows, beautiful pouting bimba-fruit lips, fear, joy, playful amorous happiness, and sweet sarcastic words, all caused by Your lovers’ quarrel with the crown of great rasikas.

116 If I can attain confidential service to King Vrsabhanu’s daughter, whose form is filled with the nectar of pure love, then how important are pious deeds to me? How important are the demigods? How important is Brahma? How important is Siva? How important is the struggle to meet the dear devotees of Lord Krsna?

 

117 O Radha, O goddess with a splendid moon face, doe eyes, beautiful nose, red lips, graceful smile, vine arms, graceful conchshell neck, regal-mountain breasts, slender waist, broad hips, banana-tree thighs, lotus feet, and moon toenails, when will I be able to worship You?

 

118 When, seeing my sincere and unwavering devotion to Sri Radha’s lotus feet, a devotion filled with boundless love greater than the love He feels for His own devotees, will charming Krsna embrace me, take the betel nuts from His mouth and place them in my mouth, and place His own forest garland upon me?

 

119 When will Sri Radha, whose beauty is supremely wonderful, whose expert skill in amorous pastimes is very wonderful, whose splendid glory is very wonderful, whose playful movements are wonderful, whose sidelong glances are the greatest wonder of wonders, whose smile is wonderful and whose form is wonderful, give me the opportunity to engage in Her wonderfully sweet service?

 

120 O Sri Radha, I meditate on Your beautiful face with its graceful restless knitted eyebrows, beautiful pouting bimba-fruit lips, fear, joy, playful amorous happiness, and sweet sarcastic words, all caused by Your lovers’ quarrel with the crown of great rasikas.




111 O my queen, when will I see You smiling, Your form plunged into the nectar of transcendental mellows as dark Krsna speaks sweetly to You, holding Your silk garment and the blossoming vine of Your arm? When, Your body garlanded with its hairs standing up in ecstasy, will You, humming in agreement, glance at me?
 
112 The king of rasikas stays in Vrndavana forest. Resting on the breast of a beautiful gopi, He enjoys the pastimes of a playful teenager. He enjoys a festival of bowing down before His gopi friend. May He be merciful to me. May He place me at His beloved’s nectar feet.
 
113 When will our queen, who is expert in all arts, and whom many gopi friends dress in splendid silk garments, a graceful bodice, wonderful ornaments, and glorious tilaka, scents, and flower garlands, allow us to enter the sweet festival of rasas?
 
114 When, our necks embraced by the great arms of our lover in the sweet and wonderful rasa-dance festival splendid with tinkling bracelets, anklets, and other ornaments, will we fix our eyes on the footprints of our queen?
 
115 My heart swims in the nectar lake of the descriptions of Lord Krsna. I decorate each day with the ornaments of worshipping Krsna and chanting the glories of His transcendental virtues. I love Krsna’s dear devotees. I pray that Sri Radha, who loves Lord Krsna, the prince of the gopas, and considers Him more dear than life, may be pleased with me.

111 O my queen, when will I see You smiling, Your form plunged into the nectar of transcendental mellows as dark Krsna speaks sweetly to You, holding Your silk garment and the blossoming vine of Your arm? When, Your body garlanded with its hairs standing up in ecstasy, will You, humming in agreement, glance at me?

 

112 The king of rasikas stays in Vrndavana forest. Resting on the breast of a beautiful gopi, He enjoys the pastimes of a playful teenager. He enjoys a festival of bowing down before His gopi friend. May He be merciful to me. May He place me at His beloved’s nectar feet.

 

113 When will our queen, who is expert in all arts, and whom many gopi friends dress in splendid silk garments, a graceful bodice, wonderful ornaments, and glorious tilaka, scents, and flower garlands, allow us to enter the sweet festival of rasas?

 

114 When, our necks embraced by the great arms of our lover in the sweet and wonderful rasa-dance festival splendid with tinkling bracelets, anklets, and other ornaments, will we fix our eyes on the footprints of our queen?

 

115 My heart swims in the nectar lake of the descriptions of Lord Krsna. I decorate each day with the ornaments of worshipping Krsna and chanting the glories of His transcendental virtues. I love Krsna’s dear devotees. I pray that Sri Radha, who loves Lord Krsna, the prince of the gopas, and considers Him more dear than life, may be pleased with me.










106 O Radha, when will the auspicious day come when my hands will draw pictures on Your breasts, my feet follow You as You go to meet Your beloved, and my eyes see Your secret pastimes in the forest?
 
107 O Sri Radha, when will I celebrate a nectar festival of being eligible to hear Your playful intimate conversations with Your lover, to take You by the hand and lead You to Your lover’s bed, and to retie Your braids undone in Your amorous pastimes?
 
108 Glory to the playful rasika couple, who with charming smiles and laughter enjoy pastimes of hide-and-seek in Vrndavana’s forest groves filled with the always-new nectar of bliss and the humming of bumblebees.
 
109 O Radha whose face is more glorious than millions of autumn moons, the fragrance of whose jasmine-braided hair makes the bumblebees go wild, whose conchshell necklace is splendid with a necklace, the vines of whose delicate arms hold moving bracelets, who is dressed in splendid silk garments, and whose lotus feet hold tinkling anklets, when will I see Your wonderful form?
 
110 O my queen, when will I say to You, “You threw away fear, shyness, glory, Your family’s reputation and a host of other shackles in order to be with Him!” and when will You, bewildered, stuttering, and laughing, angrily reply, “When did I do that? When?”

106 O Radha, when will the auspicious day come when my hands will draw pictures on Your breasts, my feet follow You as You go to meet Your beloved, and my eyes see Your secret pastimes in the forest?

 

107 O Sri Radha, when will I celebrate a nectar festival of being eligible to hear Your playful intimate conversations with Your lover, to take You by the hand and lead You to Your lover’s bed, and to retie Your braids undone in Your amorous pastimes?

 

108 Glory to the playful rasika couple, who with charming smiles and laughter enjoy pastimes of hide-and-seek in Vrndavana’s forest groves filled with the always-new nectar of bliss and the humming of bumblebees.

 

109 O Radha whose face is more glorious than millions of autumn moons, the fragrance of whose jasmine-braided hair makes the bumblebees go wild, whose conchshell necklace is splendid with a necklace, the vines of whose delicate arms hold moving bracelets, who is dressed in splendid silk garments, and whose lotus feet hold tinkling anklets, when will I see Your wonderful form?

 

110 O my queen, when will I say to You, “You threw away fear, shyness, glory, Your family’s reputation and a host of other shackles in order to be with Him!” and when will You, bewildered, stuttering, and laughing, angrily reply, “When did I do that? When?”








Played 29 Times



"The heat of midnight tears will bring you to God." - Mirabai (16th c.)




101 O Sri Radha, O goddess with glistening curly black hair, glistening bimba-fruit lips, a moonlike face, playful khanjana bird eyes, a splendid pearl in the tip of Your nose, broad hips, slender waist, splendid breasts, a host of wonderful glories, and vine-arms decorated with graceful armlets, please appear before me.
 
102 In the newly fashioned stage of Sri Radha’s limbs a play will now be performed. The curtain of shyness now rises. A smile now offers a handful of flowers. Youthfulness speaks graceful words of prologue. The king of love enters and sits on the golden throne of Her hips. Now playful sidelong glances show their wonderful skill in wild dancing.
 
103 May Sri Sri Radha-Madhava’s festival of love, where there is a great wonder of beauty and where there are new youthfulness, charm, skill in the playing among the waves of many pastimes, and places of great wonder, and where there is now awe, reverence, or unapproachableness, protect you all.
 
104 Will I someday gaze on Sri Radha’s footprints, which are the abodes of wonderful nectar and glory, and which cloud-dark Mukunda, whose form is filled with the sweetest bliss, lovingly searches for in Vrndavana forest.
 
105 O Radha, when will I look on as the jewel of rasikas forcibly drags You to the bed, drinks the nectar of Your lips, with sharp fingernails scratches Your full breasts, throws away Your belt, and holds You in His hands in an opening of the forest?

101 O Sri Radha, O goddess with glistening curly black hair, glistening bimba-fruit lips, a moonlike face, playful khanjana bird eyes, a splendid pearl in the tip of Your nose, broad hips, slender waist, splendid breasts, a host of wonderful glories, and vine-arms decorated with graceful armlets, please appear before me.

 

102 In the newly fashioned stage of Sri Radha’s limbs a play will now be performed. The curtain of shyness now rises. A smile now offers a handful of flowers. Youthfulness speaks graceful words of prologue. The king of love enters and sits on the golden throne of Her hips. Now playful sidelong glances show their wonderful skill in wild dancing.

 

103 May Sri Sri Radha-Madhava’s festival of love, where there is a great wonder of beauty and where there are new youthfulness, charm, skill in the playing among the waves of many pastimes, and places of great wonder, and where there is now awe, reverence, or unapproachableness, protect you all.

 

104 Will I someday gaze on Sri Radha’s footprints, which are the abodes of wonderful nectar and glory, and which cloud-dark Mukunda, whose form is filled with the sweetest bliss, lovingly searches for in Vrndavana forest.

 

105 O Radha, when will I look on as the jewel of rasikas forcibly drags You to the bed, drinks the nectar of Your lips, with sharp fingernails scratches Your full breasts, throws away Your belt, and holds You in His hands in an opening of the forest?